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Through the Looking Glass
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after the eponymous tale by L. Carroll
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Part Three
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To the House of Tweedledum
To the House of Tweedledee
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The arrows, for some reason,
both pointed the same way.
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"I do believe," thought Alice, "that
Tweedledum and Tweedledee live together!"
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I'll just visit and say "how d'you do?"
and ask them the way out of the wood.
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If you think we're wax-works, you ought
to pay, you know. They are pay-per-view.
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Contrariwise, you ought to do otherwise.
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- I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
- The first thing in a visit is to say
"How d'ye do?" and shake hands!
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Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to have a battle
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
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So nice it was... so new it was...
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
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Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
As black as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.
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Tra-la (ra-la-la!), tru-lu (ru-lu-lu!)
...they quite forgot... their quarrel!
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Do you see that?
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- I knew it! It's spoilt!
- You needn't be so angry about an old rattle.
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But it isn’t old! It's new, I tell you.
My nice new RATTLE!
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- Of course you agree to have a battle?
- I suppose so! Only she must
help us to dress up.
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Fasten it tighter, or my head could get cut off.
You know, the loss of one's head
is a very serious loss.
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I'm very brave generally, only to-day
I happen to have a headache.
Do I look very pale?
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And I’ve got a toothache!
I'm far worse off than you!
- Then you’d better not fight to-day.
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- We must have a bit of a fight!
- Let's fight till six, and then have dinner.
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- What a thick black cloud that is!
Why, I do believe it’s got wings!
It's the crow!
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Oh, that's the White Queen!
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Would you like to be my lady's maid?
Twopence a week and jam every other day.
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- No, thank you - and I don't want any jam today.
- You won't receive it today.
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Jam every other day.
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That's dreadfully confusing,
I don't understand you at all.
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- It's just that you are not used
to the effect of living backwards.
- Living backwards?
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- My finger's bleeding! Bleeding!
- Have you pricked your finger?
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Not yet, but it hurts already. And
now I shall prick it. That accounts for the
bleeding, you see. Now do you understand
the way things happen here?
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- Then your finger no longer hurts?
- No!... It does not. Thank you,
tha-a... baa-a-a-a....
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What is it you want to buy?
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- I should like to buy an egg, please.
How do you sell them?
- One for ten kopek, two for five-kopek and a half.
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Then two eggs are cheaper than one?
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Then I'll have one, please,
- I never put things into people's hands
—if you ne-e-ed it, ge-e-et it for yourself!
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"But that's Humpty Dumpty!" Alice thought.
"That's him and nobody else!"
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
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All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty... couldn't put Dumpty...
Humpty Dumpty, Dumpty Humpty,
Humpty Dumpty in his place again.
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- How exactly like an egg he is!
- I am so fed up with this!
Everybody calls me an egg. Every and all!
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Wouldn't you be more at ease down on
the ground? That wall is awfully narrow!
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Not at all! But if ever I did
fall off, the King has promised me —
with his very own mouth — to...
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- To send all his horses and all his men.
- You were eavesdropping, weren't you?
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- No, I read it in a book!
Would you kindly tell me the meaning
of the poem called "Jabberwocky"?
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I can explain all the poems that were
ever invented — and a good many that haven't
been invented just yet. Let's hear it!
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'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
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That's enough to begin with. Well, then:
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"Brillig" means eight o'clock in the
evening when it's time for supper.
- I understand. And "slithy"?
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That's lithe and slimy. That word is like
a portmanteau - you open it and find two
compartments! Two meanings packed up into one word.
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- Ah, I see it now... and what are "toves"?
- They're a mixture of ferrets, badgers and corkscrews.
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- They must be very curious looking creatures!
- They are that.
- And what's the "gyre" and to "gimble"?
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- To go round like a gyroscope,
to make holes like a gimlet!
- And what is "the Wabe"?
- Farewell.
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- Never in my life have I met someone so
repulsive... so rip-rap-ryp-repulsive.
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My dear, did you happen to meet anybody?
I've sent all my horses and all my men!
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- There are thousands of them there!
- The exact number is 4207 people.
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I am expecting a Messenger any minute now.
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Just look along the road,
who do you see there?
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- Nobody.
- I only wish I had such eyes!
To see Nobody, and at that distance, too!
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Who did you pass on the road?
- Nobody.
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This young lady saw him too.
What's happened in the town?
- I'd better wh... whisper it in your ear.
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- Go on.
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- They’re at it again!
- Do you call that a whisper?!
If you should ever
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scream like that again,
I'll have you buttered!
- Who are at it again?
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Why, the Lion and the Unicorn, of course.
Fighting to the death for the crown. For my
crown, by the way. Let's run and see them!
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I hear you saying: "like fairy-tale living"
But judge for yourselves: is that easily lived?
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You can't do a thing here without being cautious,
Because of uncertainly and of obscurity,
And lack of knowledge and unpleasantness...
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Oh, it's so complicated!
And that's where the fun is!
You can't take one step here without taking care.
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Although, on the bright side,
In fairy tales we meet
With real, living queens,
Sometimes even a king.
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And have a nice chat with
The real Humpty Dumpty,
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And we sing songs with,
And we sing songs with
Tweedledum, Tweedledee.